How to Get Over Social Anxiety

First Things First

This is not clinical advice. If you are struggling with mental health issues, including anxiety, it is always a good idea to visit a mental health professional.

Second, there are many ways to approach anxiety. The following is a simple, helpful way to break down the problem with easy-to-execute steps.

Why Am I So Anxious?

The root of anxiety is often fear. Plain and simple. Learning to view social anxiety as a symptom of fear and dread, then pinpointing the source of that fear, is a shortcut to overcoming it. This starts the process of healing and understanding.

Unfortunately, feelings of dread and unease are all too common, especially in young adults. Results from a 2023 Gallup survey indicate that 47% of people 12-26 felt anxious “often or always.” More than 22% often or always felt depressed, and numbers were even higher for females.

What Am I Scared Of?

When feeling anxious, take a few moments to yourself. Stop, breathe, and ask yourself, “What is scaring me?” And answer honestly! In these asides, there is no one judging you but yourself. By slowing down and asking yourself a direct question, you connect with yourself and make it easier to give yourself answers and support. Most importantly, it only takes 30 seconds or less!

Grounding Techniques

After asking yourself some questions, it can then be helpful to focus on grounding techniques to calm your body and mind. One option is square breathing: breathe in through your nose for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, breathe out for 5 seconds, and repeat. This helps regulate your nervous system so you can slow down and reflect on what you’re experiencing.

Another grounding strategy is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which uses your senses to bring you back to the present moment. Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. These exercises can help shift you out of “stress brain” and into a more logical, grounded space where you can think through your feelings and communicate with yourself or others more effectively.

Reflect: Why Do These Things Frighten Me?

Once you’ve gotten over the moment of anxiety, it can be helpful to ask yourself, “Why was I scared of that?” This can be done in the moment or later that day; before bed is a great time to reflect. 

It is remarkable how many times the cause of anxiety is fear related to other’s perceptions of us. There is a feeling that without the group’s approval, we could end up lonely, unsuccessful, and floundering. However, by simply acknowledging this to yourself, you will naturally start to address it and overcome this anxiety.

In fact, exposure therapy, which involves acknowledging and facing fear, has a response rate of 70-75% with consistent treatment. Additionally, cognitive behavioral therapy emphasizes recognizing and challenging fear-based thinking and has shown a remission rate of 54% for people with anxiety disorders.

How a Women’s College Can Help You Overcome Social Anxiety

Two benefits of a women’s-only education are the focus on leadership skills and the supportive community of peers and professors.

Learning about leadership instills confidence, especially when the methods of learning include hands-on training. This allows students to experience leadership positions, make mistakes, take risks, and learn about leadership in a personal way.

Leadership experience allows you to peer behind the curtain and see that you can stand on your own two feet. You are an intelligent, capable person who is the key to your own success, not other’s perceptions of you.